oeuniverse:

In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’
376,993 notes

londonur:

part of me wants to wear leather jackets and red lipstick and be super sexy and break boys’ hearts but then I also want to wear sundresses and be sweet and cute and shy and giggly but a different part of me wants to be beautiful and smart and mysterious and another part of me just wants to sit in bed and watch netflix while I eat pizza

422,813 notes

bookofmorgan:

i wish there was a way to find out how many boners you’ve caused in a lifetime i wanna check my stats

126,137 notes

leftforbed:

leftforbed:

mcsnuggie:

true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn

why would the movie eat my popcorn

nevermind i get it

456,908 notes

penelopgarcia:

if they dont play ‘year 3000’ at least once on the new year’s of 3000 i will literally rise out of my grave and set everyone on fire

302,706 notes

kittykate666:

if u cant handle me at my strider u sure as helms deep dont deserve me at my aragorn

(Source: 69kittykate69)

33,637 notes

Important time-out: I think we all need to sit back and take a minute to thank God for the blessing that is Elie Saab. 

9 notes

blendablelion:

harroldstyle:

IM SO PISSED OFF THAT WE DONT HAVE BALLS ANY MORE
I WANT TO WEAR A HUGE DRESS AND BE COURTED AND DANCE AROUND AND HAVE MY GOWN SWEEP THE FLOOR AND BE ALL ELEGANT AND GRACEFUL WITH GLOVES AND SHIT

BUT NO WE HAVE DUMB HOUSE PARTIES WITH CHEAP BEER AND RED CUPS AND HORNY TEENAGE BOYS WHO PUT THEIR HANDS UP MY SHIRT 

for a second there i thought you were talking about testicles omg

288,178 notes

alyreandalute:

a few years ago i trained my dog to respond to harry potter spells and i was just wondering if he still remembered them so i looked at him and said “avada kedavra” and he rolled over and played dead

(Source: hedylamar)

62,210 notes

florelgreen:

you’re really cute and its ruining my life because i think about kissing you all the time

418,879 notes

moon-kittens:

svvitzerland:

its so cute when people that are mean are nice only to you

it’s because they’re almost like an evil cat that likes only you

(Source: toyota)

145,217 notes

fezofrassilon:

Ellen Degeneres gives money to charity

Ellen DeGenerous

Ellen takes command of an army

Ellen DeGeneral

Ellen starts producing electricity

Ellen DeGenerator

Ellen alters the structure of DNA

Ellen DeGenetecist

Ellen gets chased by a cat called Tom

Ellen DeJerrymouse

2,433 notes