i want to write away from you,
lines to leave you far behind.
and yet i search the keys for you,
for words to aid my call.
all i find are tainted letters
painted across a lustful mind.
i want to write away from you,
to change the air in which i breath,
i fall and rise carefree of life.
the birds they sing, they do not screech -
with beauty, the only sound i hear.
one needent entertain the negative,
but only rearrange one’s thoughts
and consume the wonders of life;
everything has good, if only we search.
breathing in the winter’s air,
the crisp wind kisses life
back into untouched cheeks.
the cold flows down unsuspecting
throats, frosting over old and weary
feelings; the cold, suddenly not so
cold, creates a refreshing sensation -
a reminder of nature’s abundantly gracious second chances.
i have loved books, and films,
and flowers, photographs, destinations,
and feelings, pets, dreams, and friends -
yet i am still to love anything
close to the way in which i love you.
didn’t the summer wind
tell you that i was waiting
with the daisies, in their
field so overflowing with
love, and lust, and all
things essential to blossoming?
…i guess the bitter winter’s
rain held you captive,
breathing her chilling
melancholy into your bones.
my thoughts trace memories creating glue so they shan’t fade, much like my fingers trace your spine, leaving my mark upon your skin. yet with every recollection of the moment a detail becomes lost, fading into the depths of your mind that grows spider-webs, and where dust-bunnies collect the departing specs. one day you try to relive the memory once more, and you realise that you cannot even recall why the event occurred; you cannot recall the breeze that so humbly caressed your skin, and for the life of you, you cannot remember which laugh you laughed upon that day; all you can remember is that is was significant in some manner, but the dust-bunnies hold all the secrets now, leaving you in the dark to pine for moments long gone.
fixed photographs hang upon the wall,
long since have i wished they held you captive.
faint shadows land upon the dimming frame,
fading sun illuminating the memory of your face.
slowly a smile dances across my mouth:
finally i breathe, as i find i can enjoy you,
without missing you.
leave loose fitting
to fall away.
with my hair dyed copper,
like the reeds during summer,
my uncle called me blood-nut
as my laugh followed me to
the waters edge, where i danced
on the shore as the blistering
sand kissed the murky waves
who came to lap up against our feet.
voices moulded together the memories
in which i hold dearest to my heart;
a time when the only care i had
was whether the boys in the cabin next
door would notice me or my cousin first -
yet in the end it would matter not
as my cousin and i frolicked in happiness
that felt would last a lifetime.
beneath moonlight that illuminated
the beauty of the lake, whispered
secrets flowed from ear to ear
and i knew that in the end,
family was all that counts.
in the dimly lit room
beneath the cover of night,
i held you closer than i held my wits.
i let you crawl beneath my skin,
memorising your lips like i
should have been memorising my ideals -
ideals that would have saved me
from loosing you; much like i lost myself.
with forest eyes
and a quite river
tongue, it tortures
me so, every time
i must leave the
quiet serenity, painted
inside my mind.
one final breath,
to breathe the life
back into billions
of sinning souls.
arms stretched wide,
you love greater
if we had one million lives.
they say you have
the world on a string.
like a puppeteer they
fall from your finger tips;
a simple extension of your
finger may leave me breathless,
contorting here alone on my bathroom floor.
you became the puppet master, with your
smile so glamorous upon your chiselled
face, and your hands so rough yet
soft when they stroke my ribcage
through the fibres in the string.
you lifted my hand onto
my heart, but left…
you cut the strings,
and now i am but a limp
puppet - alone again
here on my bathroom floor.
i fell in love with a dream, spiralling down alice’s rabbit hole before i even had time to realise i had fallen. the ground tumbled from beneath me, and suddenly i was all hallucinations; images flashed by, making memories in my mind. reflecting upon such events their is a separation within my body, the corners of my mouth begin to smile and yet my stomach plummets to the ground. such sweet dreams bring about happiness and wanderlust, yet also bring about the dizzying realisation that they are yet to be fulfilled; followed by the crippling anxiety of wondering if they ever will be.
i made you everything
and yet nothing,
all at once.
i gave you responsibilities
and fed you,
yet gave you nothing of myself.
i put myself in the air between,
so i could see it all,
but you could see none.
when the time came
and you left,
roots i never knew about
ripped from my chest;
gaping holes left scars
greater than i ever let you see.